You Will Never Find Yourself

How many times have we heard from others to try new things and go to new places in order to find ourselves? How often do we feel lost in our lives and ‘look’ for who we are?

As the phrase never really made sense to me, my personal question is ‘What exactly are you supposed to be looking for?’ Are you looking for what you like? What you’re good at? What interests you? What makes you feel fulfilled?

The reason why I address this quote is because it’s very misleading and is likely one of the many reasons people are complacent with the lives they live.

What I am saying doesn’t refer to the quote in itself. What I am referring to is the belief system that supports and is supported by this idea.

How can you find what exists outside of you? Even if you find it, is it you? How do you know?

What happens if you don’t ever find that which makes you who you are?

If we follow the the idea that out external projections are a reflection of what’s inside us, you and your ideas are all created.

Your created this idea of ‘finding yourself.’

There is no finding yourself; you can only create yourself.

You won’t always be able to find what you’re looking for, but you can always create what it is you want.

You are a creator. A creator who has forgotten their true ability.

Take action and create who you want to become.


Maybe you have a different idea on this phrase. Please comment below and share your take on the phrase and how it serves you.

Think Like An Aghori

Chances are, if you are reading this, you have access to technology and Internet. You likely live in or near an industrialized area. You require food for nourishment, so you go to the supermarket or your local farmers market. Such is the back bone of modern civilization. With the advancement and convenience of these technologies, we’ve become much more aware of what is going on outside of us: news, weather, latest trends, gossip, and other things that people share. We are learning to make more informed decisions, follow our intellect, use facts and manage our lives.

As a result of this convenience, we have also become very alienated from ourselves. In our world of commodities, we’ve sucked ourselves in pleasure. We avoid negative stimuli and things that are completely out of our comfort zones. We’ve lost touch with our origin and spirit.

So what does this do with an aghori? What is an aghori?

Aghoris are humans that have completely renounced their pleasures and comforts in order to connect with God. They reside in India, doing unconventional things that modern man condemns as barbaric and insane. This include things like walking around naked, wallowing in cremation ground ash, eating only out of a human skull, even eating human body parts.

Media portrays these people as sickened, deluded, disgusting, related synonyms, to the extent that it’s fascinating to see. For the majority, the life of an Aghori would be the last thing we’d want to end up becoming. How could people want to give up their material comforts? How could they leave their families and jobs? How could they give all that up, for THIS?

In short, the mind of an aghori is limitless. Outside from their bizarre appearance, aghoris are actually incredibly intelligent and compassionate. They know how modern man has vicariously created an idea of life, a kind of idea that separates the mind and body. Ideas that rationalize man goes through, accept the hate and division that happen between others, the duality man faces today.

Instead of procrastinating, going to counseling, suppressing, ignoring, accepting this tension is normal, Aghoris do the opposite: they will literally jump into their fears without a second thought or hesitation. Anything they feel negativity towards, they will embrace it until the feelings melt down. If they realize they don’t like someone, they’ll find that person and release the negativity. If they fear their own demise, they’ll go to a cremation ground and embrace the ash. Aghoris know the truth, the mind is the lock and key to your enlightenment.

Your mind makes the images you fear. Your mind can also disspell the images.

What do you think? Post below.

Opt for a Cold Shower

One of the most intimate, relaxing times of the day is getting into a hot shower and just soaking in the heat for 20 minutes. Perhaps there have been occasions when you were taking a hot shower and someone abruptly flushes the toilet, giving you a relatively unpleasant sensation of cold water. Maybe someone before you took their time in the shower and when it was your turn, there was no hot water left. As adverse as it sounds, it could’ve been a blessing in disguise.

Many people don’t realize the impact of immersing in hot water for an extended period of time. Hot water tends to dry out our skin and hair which tends to cause issues like constantly dry skin and hair that falls out. A panacea to this problem is doing the exact opposite: taking a cold shower. Not only can it prevent constantly dry skin and lessen the amount of hair being shed (not to mention saving some money on your next water bill), but it has tons of scientifically proven benefits:

1. Improve circulation – When the cold hits your body, it stimulates the circulatory system. the blood goes straight to the organs to keep them warm and running, especially the arteries in the heart.

2. Lose weight – When researching this, I learned that there are two kinds of fat tissues found in the body: white fat and brown fat. We want to get rid of the white fat that is accumulated through carbs and food, eventually getting trapped in our body. The brown fat keeps our body warm. It also gets activated when surged by cold conditions. This process removes white fat tissue and generates more brown fat.

3. Increase testosterone – Ever wonder why the male testicles and scrotum are outside of the body? That’s because they need a cool temperature to allow sperm to thrive. The DNA is temperature sensitive and with hot showers, can have a lasting impact on male fertility.

4. Elevate mood – Acting as oxidative stress, cold showers force your body to adapt and breathing improves drastically. In the process, your body and mind harden that will heighten your threshold of stress. It has been found that cold showers increase electrical impulses in the brain, producing an anti-depressive effect. Overall, mood and emotions become higher.

5. More energy – Rather than drink a cup of coffee, a cold shower jolts the whole body awake. Just give it a try and see for yourself. However, this tends to last only for a few hours until it’s practiced regularly.

6. Strengthen immunity – It’s been shown that cold showers increase the rate and activation of white blood cells in the immune system. In addition, cold showers contract the vessels in your lymphatic system and exposure to hot water relaxes the vessels. In alternation, they remove toxins.

7. Ease muscle soreness – After a long, vigorous workout, athletes tend to take ice baths or cold showers. Doing this lessens the soreness one feels in their body. After a workout at home or at the gym, a cold shower can take off some of that delayed soreness.

Give it a try for a few days. For those that want to ease in, reduce the amount of hot water exposure, then finish off with cold water. In essence, you should end with cold water. Go for 30 seconds, then 1 minute, 2 minutes, and so on.

Share your questions and experiences!

Thyroid Problems? Try Ashwagandha: With the Strength of a Horse

Millions of Americans (millions more around the world) suffer from a medley of bodily ailments which come from the modern day life style. People have to deal with long and stressful work days and nutrient-deficient foods which contain tons of additives and chemicals. As a result, a plethora of health issues arise, most common issues include high blood pressure, thyroid and hormonal imbalance, increased anxiety and stress, emotional problems, low immunity, fatigue, diabetes, cancer, and the list goes on. Rather than go into the severity of these problems, which I’m certain you know of, I will get straight to a solution.

In Ayurvedic medicine, herbs and roots are used to heal ailments in the body. There are hundreds of herbs used. Ashwagandha is considered an adaptogenic herb, which means it is used for its healing abilities that can stabilize physiological functions. The phrase ‘the strength of a horse’ is used commonly due to the herb’s ability to strengthen the immune system after an illness. With a simple Google search, you can find tons of studies done on ashwagandha and the effects it has on the body, which include but are not limited to:

  • improved thyroid function
  • improved immune system function
  • hormone balance
  • improved insulin and cortisol levels
  • improved brain cell regeneration
  • improved stamina and energy levels
  • and much more

I would love to hear about your experiences with this herb.

Don’t Delude Yourself Into Problems

After doing the completion process, there will be so much clarity and understanding. You will feel reborn and no longer shackled to the emotional baggage you’ve previously subjected yourself through for so long. This contrast is exactly what life is: going through a situation and when realizing the solution, understanding there was never a problem. In truth, everything you feel about life and yourself is nothing more than a projection. We don’t see stars as they are currently, we are looking at them as they were in a point in their past. The light simply takes a long time to reach us. In the same way, we don’t see ourselves currently, we see ourselves in relation to our past. Whether it’s positive or negative, there isn’t right and wrong. There simply is.

In-completions do not create dilemmas or problems. They create delusions. These delusions become the ruler with which you measure and compare experiences. It’s through this lens that you experience problems. When you remove the in-completion, you see a larger scope of reality. That doesn’t mean new in-completions can’t emerge. There is one piece of truth that must be told, and that is don’t assume every problem and issue you have with yourself is a product of your in-completions and environmental triggers. No problem comes from outside of you.

There is a simple answer. That is, all big dilemmas in life are caused by casual thoughts. Don’t ever think desperation, anxiety, and dilemmas are caused by the depth of your in-completions. By thinking this, you will only add on another in-completion. Your over-thinking and over-analysis generates this bi-product of dilemma. Not only does all that over-thinking create these problems, it uses up glucose that your brain uses for other functions. This results in feeling tired and lethargic.

Simply, being aware is enough to put some of those dilemmas to rest. Meditate. Smile. Be active. Complete.

The Conspiracy of the Ego: Part 7.

By this point, you should feel as if a large load has been lifted off your shoulders. Perhaps the reliving portion hasn’t completely set in, but that is okay. Keep trying and persist until the emotions from that event leave your system.

The final step in the completion process may be a challenge for most people. For the final step, you must confront the people or person that’s involved in your in-completions.

For many people, this step will be neglected which isn’t terrible, but it is this step that will truly liberate you and the other party.

When you talk to the other person, you ask them to simply listen to what you have to say. Talk about each relevant event and what you went through. When you do this, don’t attack, hurl abuse, or harm them in any way. You tell them the situation in the space that you experienced it and as objective as possible. Use phrases like “I felt like….”, “When *this* happened, I did *this*”, and so on. At the end of your talk, firmly declare to yourself and the other that you’ll never allow this emotion or experience to interfere with your life again. Chances are the other person will respond in 4 ways:

  1. The other person will have been also affected by the experience and will also want to say something about it. Usually, they will also feel very relieved at the end.
  2. The other person will feel offended and try to attack or insult you. Don’t entertain the other part when this happens; just thank them for listening and give them space.
  3. The other person will be confused as to why you’re even talking about this. You can tell them the truth. Keep it personal.
  4. The other person won’t care.

Regardless of the reaction, this exercise gives both parties some form of relief. This is ultimately to give you a deeper sense of closure and really get rid of the engrams that remain in your bio-memory. Do this with emotion, you have to feel the emotions rise when you confront the other party. In the event that the other party is deceased, you can use a picture of them.

This completion process is not created by me. I learned it from my master, Paramahamsa Nithyananda, and am simply spreading the technique for all to use. My master himself also is not the creator of this technique. It can be found in the Agamas, one of the Hindu scriptures.

Please share anything related to this post and process.




The Conspiracy of the Ego: Part 6.

So far in the Completion Process, we have went over the following:

  1. What are the inner, outer, others’ and life images we have
  2. What are the inner, outer, others’ and life images we want to have
  3. The emotions that are in the gap of the images we have and the images we want
  4. The associated experiences and senses that get triggered

We have written all of these down in detail and given the amount of integrity and authenticity you’ve put, even more memories and feelings should have surfaced. Chances are you have figured out there are a lot of contradicting feelings and ideas you have internally. The way you want to be is nowhere near where you are currently. It’s your decision to allow these emotions and experiences to hold you back from expressing the self you want to project. So now that at least most of the major incidences have been exposed, what do we do next?

Simply, you will relive each incident. Reliving is relieving.

In mediation, you will go back to each incident. Go back to that point in time, relating to the best of your ability the age, the mindset, the beliefs, the clothes, the senses, EVERYTHING that happened in that moment.

I have to make this clear: remembering is NOT reliving! Don’t listen to your mind when it tries to rationalize the feelings or experience!

The difference between remembering and reliving is time. When you remember, you don’t relate anymore to that part of your past because time has passed and your dimensions have changed. When you relive, you assimilate those dimensions of your past and go through what it is you went through. This is the most difficult part of the process because we may have forgotten a lot of the details. The idea is to assimilate as much as you can and consciously go through the experience again and again until the emotions associated with that memory pass through your system.

There will be times when emotions easily slip out of you. There will also be moments when traumatic events are relived in the body. You will go through the emotional turmoil and that is the point. Consciously be aware of this, but allow the emotions to come out. Don’t hold back. Just observe yourself, your mind, and whatever it is you are going through. Observe the same way you would observe a familiar stranger going through hard times, without judgement or input. Simply allow it to happen in you.

A few other things:

You will have to relive the experiences more than once, at least 5 times. The emotions need to be broken down to the point they no longer have any control over your will.

Be comfortable and well-rested when you do this.

Your mind will try to take you away from the process by justifying the experiences. It will tell you that it’s not your fault, you were young, it was a long time ago, you learned from your mistakes, etc…DO NOT HEED YOUR MIND. GO THROUGH WITH THE PROCESS. If those experiences really didn’t matter anymore, they wouldn’t be affecting the choices you make and the experience you undergo now. There is no relationship between the experiences of ‘You’ in the past and the experiences of ‘You’ now.

If you do this exercise intensely, consciously, and authentically, you should feel lighter mentally and physically. You should feel as if loads of weight have been removed from your system. Many people also undergo physical changes. In my experience, my lower-body increased in flexibility. The thoughts that you have have an effect on your physical body, they create blockages and can remove them as well.

There is still one more part…

Share your experiences in the comments!





The Conspiracy of the Ego: Part 5.

So far in the completion process, we have reflected and written down what is in our totality of images as well as the ideal images we want to embody and radiate. For many, there will be more differences than similarities. Ultimately, we want to take the parts that make us feel weak and powerless and change them in order to change our limiting beliefs and cognition. We want to be congruent across all four images.

Now that we’ve written what we currently have and what we want, we have to go to the next part. This section of the process deals directly with the emotions, thoughts, and senses that come to us when we think of each statement. Let us work with the example, in my inner image, I cognize that I am shy and quiet. In my outer image, I cognize that I am extroverted and talkative. When I engage in the behavior of socializing, the friction between these two images will occur in. I feel that I’m not being ‘myself’ (inner image) and my outer image will constantly interrupt me and say how I am not being myself, that I should just stick to listening and not interrupt those who are talking. In truth, it’s not even required that you have a statement about yourself. The whole point of this exercise is to find out which parts of you aren’t integrated (and believe me when I say there is a lot of parts that need to be handled.) If you notice that there is a congruence that you don’t like (outer image is “I am a nobody” and others’ image is “I am a nobody”) then you are more than obligated to your higher self to change it immediately. So how do we fix these in-completions? This is the part where you ‘face yourself’.

First, reflect on the image you want to have, that makes you feel powerful, free and ever-expansive. Then, refer to the image that you have. When you experience the image you currently have, there will be phrases, emotions, and memories that come rushing through your system that may contradict what you want. This ‘gap’ is what you’re going to be bridging. Understand that all these emotions and feelings stem from events in your life that shape the way you see yourself and others.

For each statement you wrote for your current images, write down everything that pops up in your mind. It’s important that you write as vividly and detailed as you possibly can. This can be in the form of sense experiences, things certain people said to you (or you told yourself), events of things that happened, even illogical things (you might think of a toy, a TV show, game, or something completely random.) The mind is powerful, but it isn’t rational or logical in the way we think of it. Whatever comes up, extract it from the mind and put it in writing so you can see the baselessness of it.

Chances are there will be some traumatic events, events that you want to suppress and never recall again. It doesn’t take a counselor to remind you that anything repressed doesn’t stay down forever and will become a huge drive in the guilt and fear one experiences in their life. Write it as consciously and as detailed as possible.

*Please leave a comment or message me if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or insights thus far. We still have another few parts to go over!*



The Conspiracy of the Ego: Part 4.

We went over the first part of the completion process, which is to write EVERYTHING that we feel in our respective inner image, outer image, others’ image, and life image, and to be honest with ourselves. When you write down your thoughts and feelings on paper, you begin to see with a little more clarity the ideas you have about yourself instead of trying to juggle these images in your mind. When you really observe these beliefs you carry about yourself, chances are the majority of beliefs are complete opposites.

For instance, your outer image may say something like, “I am relaxed, calm, and insightful.” However, your inner image may say something along the lines of “I am nervous and confused.” These images are completely contradictory, not integrated. This reflects many of the actions you take. Your outer image may decide to be more social and you want to change, but your inner image says to you that you cant change, you’re an introvert! (This is what you would call the id to the ego.) This gap is the root cause of ALL your self-doubt.

Differences between your outer image and others’ image lead to what ultimately becomes self-hatred. For example, someone might say that they are very outgoing, talkative and sociable. They engage with others and are highly interactive. Others’ image can vary. There will be people who will perceive the same thing, there will also be people that don’t really care. Of course, there will be others that perceive you’re annoying or insecure. They want you to be a different way. It’s important that you understand that this explicitly doesn’t create an in-completion. If someone says something to you that is the opposite of the way you perceive yourself and that makes you feel weak and powerless, that becomes an in-completion. You’ll always feel that you are never enough for yourself or anyone else.

When talking about others’ image, it can be what others think about your or what others want you to be (My friends think I’m introverted and quiet, which fits my outer image because I usually keep to myself. My mom wants me to find a job like everyone else, but I don’t want to make money that way.) Life image concerns your beliefs and ideas about how others should be. The contradictions from these two images lead everyone to self-denial. A personal example of this would be in my others’ image, others say that I should speak up more and state an opinion to get my voice heard. In my life image, I feel others spout their opinions nonsensically without getting anything done, talk is cheap without action. When contrasts are this different and I feel powerless about it, this gives rise to self-denial. When we hear others say something about us about how we should be and it doesn’t fit our image, the in-completion occurs when we feel hopeless about it.

The next question that gets asked is, “From where do these differences arise?”

Before I reveal that, on a separate sheet of paper, write down what you want to be and hold in your inner, outer, others’, and life image. Whatever it is you want to be about you, whatever it is you want to project to others, whatever it is you want others to cognize about you, and whatever it is you want to cognize about life, just write it down. Don’t be afraid of what you want.

The Conspiracy of the Ego: Part 3.

The individual Atman can be divided into 4 parts.

The Inner Image – the way that you think, feel, believe, perceive about yourself. This includes personal descriptions (I am tall, smart, attractive, ugly, weak, depressed, shy, extroverted, a doctor, easily distracted, weird, a loner, popular…) ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you cognize about yourself.

The Outer Image – the way you project yourself to others, any image of yourself you assume yourself as towards family, friends, strangers, animals, and so on. (I am relaxed, down to earth, shy, introverted, happy, intelligence, more rational than ___,just a child…) ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you project yourself to be to others.

The Others’ Image – the way others perceive you. These are the judgements, ideas, expectations, and opinions that others have about you, whether or not you are aware of them. (He/She is silly, fun, cute, annoying, quiet, stupid, a loser, cool, fun to be around, strange, creepy, should be doing _____,…) ANYTHING and EVERYTHING others feel about you.

The Life Image – the way you cognize and believe about life. Your general idea and feelings towards life and meaning of existence. (Life is great, okay, so-so, terrible, life, unfair, who cares, nothing, meaningless…) ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you feel towards life.

(The reason I put anything and everything in caps is because there are images and beliefs you have that you feel don’t have an influence on other aspects in your life. However, like your body systems, every part of you is connected.)

What others call ego is a conflict between images, which create in-completions. There is no other force acting in the individual besides you, the Atman. In-completions occur as a result of feeling weak, angry, confused, irritated, any negative association that makes you feel POWERLESS in ANY situation. Unfortunately, there are a lot of conflicts that stem from events in your life which you identify yourself as. This false association leads to the creation of these in-completions. Even with intellectual understanding and time between events, emotion and fear will always hold a tighter grip until it’s been faced and melted down in your system. It is this phase of seeking that traps and deludes all seekers. The toughest part of the spiritual journey is going through these in-completions in the self, making oneself complete, reaching the state of origin (enlightenment).


The Completion Process, Part 1

You will need:

a note book, a pencil, time for yourself, and a space where you can’t be bothered.

For each image, write down everything that you belief and identify with, each image being on a separate page.

No matter how silly or insecure you may feel, just write it down. Never try to sugar coat anything you say.

Do this with authenticity and honesty.

Whatever you write down should be written the way you would say it to yourself: raw.

Whatever you write is for your eyes only.