We went over the first part of the completion process, which is to write EVERYTHING that we feel in our respective inner image, outer image, others’ image, and life image, and to be honest with ourselves. When you write down your thoughts and feelings on paper, you begin to see with a little more clarity the ideas you have about yourself instead of trying to juggle these images in your mind. When you really observe these beliefs you carry about yourself, chances are the majority of beliefs are complete opposites.
For instance, your outer image may say something like, “I am relaxed, calm, and insightful.” However, your inner image may say something along the lines of “I am nervous and confused.” These images are completely contradictory, not integrated. This reflects many of the actions you take. Your outer image may decide to be more social and you want to change, but your inner image says to you that you cant change, you’re an introvert! (This is what you would call the id to the ego.) This gap is the root cause of ALL your self-doubt.
Differences between your outer image and others’ image lead to what ultimately becomes self-hatred. For example, someone might say that they are very outgoing, talkative and sociable. They engage with others and are highly interactive. Others’ image can vary. There will be people who will perceive the same thing, there will also be people that don’t really care. Of course, there will be others that perceive you’re annoying or insecure. They want you to be a different way. It’s important that you understand that this explicitly doesn’t create an in-completion. If someone says something to you that is the opposite of the way you perceive yourself and that makes you feel weak and powerless, that becomes an in-completion. You’ll always feel that you are never enough for yourself or anyone else.
When talking about others’ image, it can be what others think about your or what others want you to be (My friends think I’m introverted and quiet, which fits my outer image because I usually keep to myself. My mom wants me to find a job like everyone else, but I don’t want to make money that way.) Life image concerns your beliefs and ideas about how others should be. The contradictions from these two images lead everyone to self-denial. A personal example of this would be in my others’ image, others say that I should speak up more and state an opinion to get my voice heard. In my life image, I feel others spout their opinions nonsensically without getting anything done, talk is cheap without action. When contrasts are this different and I feel powerless about it, this gives rise to self-denial. When we hear others say something about us about how we should be and it doesn’t fit our image, the in-completion occurs when we feel hopeless about it.
The next question that gets asked is, “From where do these differences arise?”
Before I reveal that, on a separate sheet of paper, write down what you want to be and hold in your inner, outer, others’, and life image. Whatever it is you want to be about you, whatever it is you want to project to others, whatever it is you want others to cognize about you, and whatever it is you want to cognize about life, just write it down. Don’t be afraid of what you want.